When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
